6 Things You'll Need to Change During Divorce

Stating the obvious, separation and divorce are HUGE life changes. It is an ending to one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. But there are probably some changes that may not have crossed your radar yet because the feelings of hurt and loss can take over all rational thinking.

Let me give the heads up on a couple of things to consider.

1.     Finances. If you have any joint accounts, you’ll need to change the names of the account owners or open new accounts in your name only. You may need to remove your soon-to-be-ex’s name off your credit cards as an authorized user. If you change bank accounts, be sure to inform other institutions that direct deposit (e.g. your employer) so it goes to the right place.

2.     Insurance. If either of you are on the other person’s health insurance plan, you’ll likely need to find separate plans. If you don’t have access to employer-sponsored insurance, seek out an independent insurance broker who can help find a fitting plan. Similarly, you may want to adjust your life insurance as to who the beneficiary is. While you’re at it, you probably want to update your will and other legal documents with a probate attorney.

3.     Passwords. We should all be changing these frequently anyway. Doing so during divorce is smart even if you trust your soon-to-be-ex. There are a lot of bad guys out there and with so many changes happening in your life right now the last thing you need is to get hacked.

4.     Address. If you’re moving, you’ll need to update your address with the US Postal Service, Driver’s Services and your banks and credit cards. All these things may not need to happen right away if the relationship with your soon-to-be ex is amicable. But, if there are any trust issues and you’re not sure how they might handle your mail, address this right away.

5.     Name. If you changed your name during your marriage, you can change it back as a part of the divorce. It’s really easy to add that in to the process. The leg work comes in when you change your legal documents such as driver’s license, passport and social security card.

6.     Mindset. As you move from being a couple to being single, all kinds of unexpected things can come up such as saying “I” instead of “we” or choosing a certain restaurant/concert/art show/friend group that you love but they didn’t. This is a great chance to get to know yourself for who you are now. Who do you want to be? What do you like to do? Who do you really want to spend your precious time with? Be gentle with yourself here, it’s a lot to process.

I always encourage my clients to keep a notebook during the divorce process so they can keep track of all their questions, priorities and visions for the future. It’s also a good place to keep track of all the to-dos so you don’t have to keep it all memorized. Make lists your friends!

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