What is mediation and how does it work?

Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process in which a neutral, third party (the mediator) guides you through your disagreements toward resolution. First, you both have to agree to try mediation (opt in). Then, with my guidance, you gather all the relevant information (financial, child-related, etc.). We talk together and separately to discuss the issues and possible outcomes. I don’t make the decisions for you. Rather, you both decide the outcomes on the issues for yourself (with my support) and, ultimately, the goal is to settle all issue and capture them in a written agreement called a Mediation Agreement that I help you write.

It works because it gives you a chance to talk and negotiate privately with the help of an impartial guide. I strive to keep the conversations balanced and makes sure everyone has a chance to speak and be heard while working toward mutually acceptable outcomes.

At best, mediation is respectful, balanced and amicable as well as more efficient and affordable compared to a contentious court battle.

Do I Need to Hire an Attorney?

Getting solid legal advice is never a bad idea and if you have specific legal questions, then, yes, you should talk to an attorney. It is not required that you hire an attorney to get divorced and it is possible to craft a satisfactory settlement agreement without one.

 Should I File for Divorce with the Court Before or After Mediation?

If you and your spouse/partner settle all or most of your issues before you file, it will make the court process go a lot smoother and quicker. It is entirely possible to have all the issues figured out, written down, and signed off on so when you do file, you can include your settlement agreement in the paperwork. If everything is satisfactory to the judge then you may only need one, short hearing where they finalizes the divorce.

If you have already filed with the court, you can still use mediation - and choose your mediator - to settle your issues before your hearing date. 

What if My Spouse/Partner Doesn’t Want to Mediate?

Unless and until it is ordered by the court, mediation is a voluntary process and works best when both parties opt in and give it their best shot. If one side doesn’t want to mediate, I can’t make them and wouldn’t want to if I could because it wouldn’t work! In mediation, all the decisions are made by the parties, including whether to participate or not.

Wouldn’t It Just be Easier to Go Ahead and File and Let the Judge Decide Everything?

Not necessarily. Courts can be pretty unpredictable and you may end up having to go to court several times for several hours with an unknown outcome each time. If the judge does ultimately rule on all your issues, it may not be at all the outcome you were hoping for but you have to live with it.

Can’t We Just Split Everything Down the Middle? 50/50?

Maybe. Depending on what assets and debts you have, you may be able to split everything down the middle. Georgia is an Equitable Distribution state, which basically means the division is based on fairness. “Fair” might be 50/50 or some other amount depending on several factors. I encourage you to do some research on this aspect of divorce in Georgia. Here’s one helpful article (but there’s lots more out there): https://www.justia.com/family/divorce/docs/equitable-distribution-faq.html

What About the Kids?

There are many issues to discuss when it comes to the children, including parenting time, decision making, and financial support. Ideally, the plan will be centered on the best interests of the children.  Of course, separation and divorce affect children immensely but it is entirely possible to create a co-parenting plan that allows for time with both parents in a schedule that makes sense to your individual lives.

Here’s some more on this from the State of Georgia: https://georgia.gov/popular-topic/learning-about-child-custody

Okay, So Now What?

• If you haven’t already, start thinking about what would be most fair in the division of marital assets and debt.

• Think about the children and what sort of schedule with both parents would be best for them.

• Begin tracking regular monthly expenses and try to create a budget plan for yourself. You will need to file a Financial Affidavit with court and the more accurate the better. Plus, this will help you plan for expenses when you live separately.

• Try to picture the future as you hope it be, including the financial side of things as well as how you will co-parent (if applicable) agreeably.

• Schedule a consultation here so we can talk and see if mediation is a fit for you and your situation.