5 Things I've Learned from Being an Atlanta Georgia Divorce Court Mediator
/I have been a court-appointed mediator in the Atlanta, Georgia area divorce courts for more than a decade. One thing I’ve learned is that the court process is something of a mystery to most people. This makes divorce even more difficult to navigate!
The outcome of any court proceeding is unpredictable. But there are some ways you can prepare for your day in court, so you’ll be a little less nervous. Let me share some insights.
PATIENCE. Knowing that court is unpredictable can help you set your expectations reasonably. A favorite judge of mine always says, “I hope you packed your patience because no one knows how today will go.” After you file with the court you will eventually get a hearing date but when? That’s not an easy thing to predict. Then, once your date does come around, it could take hours or even all day before the judge calls your case. Even worse, your case could get postponed to another day or week. Keep in mind there are many, many cases on the judge’s calendar aside from yours and who knows how long any one of those cases might take potentially pushing your case back.
Expert Advice: Take the whole day off work and have childcare covered, just in case. Bring water and a snack (but do not under any circumstances open in the courtroom!). Bring a book and maybe your journal.
2. PAPERWORK. Bring ALL the paperwork relevant to your case. I mean all of it. You never know what a judge or the other side (you soon-to-be-ex) will ask to see, and you want to have it ready. In fact, take the time to organize it ahead of time with an index and tabs so you can find anything easily. You’ll be nervous standing in front of the judge, and you want to be able to rely on a system rather than try to figure it out on the fly.
Expert Advice: Make two copies of everything so there’s no worry in sharing a document. Also, bring any original documents that have the Clerk of Court’s stamp on it. This is court-certified proof that you filed the document you say you did.
3. ELECTRONICS. For the love of everything important in the universe, turn your phone and laptop OFF. Not vibrate, not silent, but all the way off. Some judges will confiscate your phone for the whole day and fine you if it makes a peep. You can always go out into the hallway to turn it on and make a call or check messages.
Expert Advice: Turn your phone off.
4. DRESS. I’ve seen folks show up to court in tank tops and flip flops like they’re headed to a picnic rather than one of the most important days of their life. There are rules about dress in court so plan accordingly.
Expert Advice: Dress as if you were headed to an important job interview. A nice shirt with a jacket or sweater, dress pants or skirt, close-toed shoes and no hats.
5. RESPECT. This might be the most important thing to keep in mind. We all must respect the court and personnel that work there. Court is not a game, and this isn’t a television show. A judge may seem easy-going, but they expect certain decorum. If this is violated you will quickly see another, angry side of the judge and you do not want this when they are deciding your fate. I have seen more than one person arrested in the courtroom for being disrespectful and failing to pull it together. Court staff includes everyone working there from the Sheriff’s deputies, the clerk and their staff, the calendar clerk, the legal assistant and, obviously, the judge.
Expert Advice: Stand up and speak when spoken to and with manners. Say “please” and “thank you” and do not interrupt. Listen carefully and when it is your turn to speak, ask questions in a respectful manner. If you lose your temper or get upset (totally natural as this is intense stuff), apologize and ask to try again.
Photo by Sora Shimazaki from Pexels